The Book of Revelations tells all about the end of the world – the tribulation, the rapture, the antichrist. Nevermind the fact that it reads like it was written by some guy who was baked out of his fucking gourd (red horses, women standing on the moon, dragons with seven heads… it’s all pretty fucked up). But forget all of that claptrap! And I mean this literally: You. Can. Forget. It. All of it.
You see, you read that, and you think to yourselves, “Ho, ho, ho! Here’s God’s plan! See? Here’s the bit where Satan shows up and tries to trick us! But oh no! Watch where that [pallid wanker] Jesus shows up and kicks his ass and Satan gets cast into the pit of despair!”
Do you really think, for a fucking instant, that I’m going to play along? Do you really think that I have any intention of just showing up and playing my part? “Oh, OK, I guess it says right here that I’m supposed to show up, say a few lines and then: Exit Satan.” Riiiiiiight.
If you dumb bastards want the end of the world, you’re going to have to start it yourselves. You’re going to have to do your own dirty work. I hereby tender my resignation. I quit.
Tags: Revelations
