I, Satan, Lord of the Underworld, Prince of Darkness, and all that evil bad stuff, have added a new feature to this website. It is called: Bible Verse Madlibs, and it is awesome. It’s just madlibs, but with famous Bible verses. So now you too can try your hand at rewriting the Bible. Here’s one that I did:
The Fall of Man
Now the serpent was more FUCKING AWESOME than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not BONE any tree in the garden’?”
The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat POOP from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not LICK it, or you will EAT SHIT AND DIE‘ ”
“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be EXPLODED, and you will be like JESUS, knowing good and evil. “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to MY SATANIC DONG, and also desirable for gaining THE FORCE, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to DARTH VADER, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed FACES together and made coverings for themselves.
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was CRAPPING in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I was GETTING IT ON.”
And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the ASS that I commanded you not to eat from?”
The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some WOOD from the tree, and I USED it.”
Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Maybe you can do better than me.
