Fuckers
Really? I mean, seriously: WTF? I give you awesome movie reviews, answer your dumb requests for advice, and explain pressing theological issues… And all you fuckers can repay me with is a billboard saying that I suck? You’re all going to Hell.
For the record, putting up defamatory advertisements about me is a deadly sin. Fuckers.
I have, after some thought, decided to go to Texas. You see it occurred to me that the initials, DC, if pronounced properly (i.e., as a word, rather than as a sequence of letters), are pronounced Dis. And that’s fairly predictable. See, Dante, The Inferno, Circle 5, Cantos 8-9. And, well, fuck that. So I’m out of here. I’m going to Texas.
Yee ha.
Here’s what I’m driving.
Double Yowza
Why, you ask, does Satan need to drive? Well, for one thing, flying is not an option. Getting a plane ticket would be, I think, a bit of a chore.
“Hi, I’m Satan, I’d like one ticket to Texas, please.”
And airport security? Well, fuck that too, OK?
Second, did you see my car? If you did, and you’re still wondering why I’m driving, then being you is another deadly sin (see Deadly Sins post). Please go straight to Hell.
I’m off.
