What Would Satan Do? » Digestion http://robotsandlava.com/blog Tue, 20 Dec 2011 01:20:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 What About the Sacred Poop? http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2011/12/18/the-sacred-poop/ http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2011/12/18/the-sacred-poop/#comments Sun, 18 Dec 2011 14:47:22 +0000 Administrator http://robotsandlava.com/wwsd/?p=15 So, back to the doctrine of transubstantiation. Last year, apparently, while I was on vacation in China, a young man got in trouble for trying to leave church before he’d finished eating Jesus. That sucks, I say, because I think you should be able to eat Jesus on your own time. It’s not easy to eat another dude, especially one that’s been dead (and “Risen!”) for nearly 2,000 years, so give the kid a break if he wants to take his time about it, OK?

But this raises, I think, another interesting question: If these people are so fucking worried about one Jesus wafer escaping into the wild, why aren’t they worried about all of the little bits of Jesus that get digested and pooped out all over the world? Why aren’t there angry old Catholic ladies down at the water treatment plant right now trying to reclaim the holy host? Seems a bit inconsistent to me. I mean, if you can turn a fucking cracker into God in the first place, then surely a little bit of mastication and digestion isn’t going to undo that? I’ve tried to find some official statement of the church on this, but haven’t been able to.

]]> http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2011/12/18/the-sacred-poop/feed/ 0 Tip O’ the Day: How Many Cats Does It Take to Make an Expert? http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2009/08/10/tip-o-the-day-how-many-cats-does-it-take-to-make-an-expert/ http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2009/08/10/tip-o-the-day-how-many-cats-does-it-take-to-make-an-expert/#comments Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:14:59 +0000 Administrator http://robotsandlava.com/blog/?p=359 You’ve probably heard the saying: “Those who can’t do, teach.” Well, there’s a modern spin on this. These days, someone who can’t do something very well can get along fairly well by running around Internet and the blogosphere describing him- or herself as a “Whiz” or “Guru” of whatever activity they’ve failed at. So how do you know whether someone is really a guru? How do you weed out the good tips from the bad? Well, you don’t, but you can be certain that, when the article or brochure or whatever skips the standard summary of qualifications and/or successes and instead, dives right into a description of how many cats the purported expert has at home, you’re not about to get great advice.

10 Cats = Expert; 50 Cats = Guru; 100 Cats = God

10 Cats = Expert; 50 Cats = Guru; 75 Cats = PhD; 100 Cats = God

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