What Would Satan Do? » Oxford English Dictionary http://robotsandlava.com/blog Tue, 20 Dec 2011 01:20:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Tip O’ the Day: How Many Cats Does It Take to Make an Expert? http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2009/08/10/tip-o-the-day-how-many-cats-does-it-take-to-make-an-expert/ http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2009/08/10/tip-o-the-day-how-many-cats-does-it-take-to-make-an-expert/#comments Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:14:59 +0000 Administrator http://robotsandlava.com/blog/?p=359 You’ve probably heard the saying: “Those who can’t do, teach.” Well, there’s a modern spin on this. These days, someone who can’t do something very well can get along fairly well by running around Internet and the blogosphere describing him- or herself as a “Whiz” or “Guru” of whatever activity they’ve failed at. So how do you know whether someone is really a guru? How do you weed out the good tips from the bad? Well, you don’t, but you can be certain that, when the article or brochure or whatever skips the standard summary of qualifications and/or successes and instead, dives right into a description of how many cats the purported expert has at home, you’re not about to get great advice.

10 Cats = Expert; 50 Cats = Guru; 100 Cats = God

10 Cats = Expert; 50 Cats = Guru; 75 Cats = PhD; 100 Cats = God

]]> http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2009/08/10/tip-o-the-day-how-many-cats-does-it-take-to-make-an-expert/feed/ 0 Proposal for the Simplification of the English Language http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2009/05/07/proposal-for-the-simplification-of-the-english-language/ http://robotsandlava.com/blog/2009/05/07/proposal-for-the-simplification-of-the-english-language/#comments Thu, 07 May 2009 13:34:38 +0000 Administrator http://robotsandlava.com/blog/?p=219 I have a proposal, and it is this: Let us do away with words and phrases like stupid, moronic, retarded, idiotic, dumb as a post, waste of flesh, slow as a grandma, fucking idiot (actually, let’s save that one), and asshat (I kind of like that one too). As I see it, every one of these could be replaced with the word “human,” thereby reducing the complexity of the English language by, say, an order of magnitude. After all, there really isn’t any need for these words, is there? What does “fucking moron” tell you about an individual that the word “human” doesn’t already communicate? I believe, if you look the word “human” up in the O.E.D. (the unabridged version, of course), you’ll find a definition along the lines of “a fucking annoying, slow-moving tosspot whose head is firmly and permanently ensconced in his or her asshole; one who should be fired from a cannon immediately.” So I think it’s safe to say then that all those other words, while enormously satisfying, are completely superfluous. We should dispense with them at once in favor of the far more simple and all-encompassing “human.”

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